He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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