i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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