My nipple is on Facebook.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
