His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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