eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm really busy with my period
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