talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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