Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
