Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
