no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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