I hate all girls vehemently.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
