Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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