GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
