So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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