youre lurking in front of me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
