she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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