he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
