lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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