I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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