my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize