Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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