Where is the hickey?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
