I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize