is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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