omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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