That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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