i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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