boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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