my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
