I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?