Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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