I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize