Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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