cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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