Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
