david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
