apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize