If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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