trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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