his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
