i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
