Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My feet surprised me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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