I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
