Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
