I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
