she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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