i barfeds in our rink
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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