seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
