Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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