All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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