I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
