goodnight i made you a song goodbye
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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