Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
