he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need a beard to bite.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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