I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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