dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
