When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
