I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
